I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
