She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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