He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
