so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
