if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
