Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
