My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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