Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
