i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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