i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
