it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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