I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
how does that bad decision feel?
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