Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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