I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
