somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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