I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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