He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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