Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
