i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am one with the molecules
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
