Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
