remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
