she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize