this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My vagina is officially offended.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
