yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize