i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
