One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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