I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
