She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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