community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
