My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we're making bets on your personal life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
