what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
