Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
