im drinking this country out of the recession.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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