she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
