3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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