I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
