So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
