I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
