question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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