As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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