needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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