Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
