Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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