Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
