there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
