you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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