i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
