More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
