I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
