I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
