Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
time to smoke my breakfast
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
