told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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