i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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