Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
