So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
