So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
